Friday, 26 June 2015

How to

I just had to write this down.
Through the WWWeb we can access anything, well not guided missile routes or The Queen's supper menu for next Wednesday, but most other useless/useful information we care to ask of Monsieur Google.
Our aged 'fosse septique' - personal sewage pit - what the hell is it called - I'll just look it up . . . (opens new window) - septic tank, is proving a tad tricky, or the loo/pipes, whatever . . . so I consulted The Net: How to. Before I could get to 'blocked' I was offered:



How to: Tie a tie
              Kiss
              Boil eggs
              Lose weight
              Make money

Odd that tie tying comes before losing weight or making money. Kissing seems fairly straight forward, or maybe it isn't at the beginning - I can't remember that far back. Boiling eggs? Is it not sad that this should be the third most asked about topic according to predictive phrase guessing? I suppose most people don't require information on how to roast swan or stuff grasshoppers, eggs being more popular.

Then I added the word empty (septic tank) and got:

A pool
A Catheter bag
A pond
A Septic tank (ah-ha)
A water bed - what a disgusting thought.

Someone once came round and insisted on doing a hoover demo for us despite the fact I said I would never in a billion years buy their ridiculous system that cost about 3,000 euros, anyway, she hoovered our mattress - just a small area then deposited the contents into a small square, white piece of cloth. It was unspeakably horrible. Grey, greasy dust - lots of it - skin and stuff . . . Just imagine what would appear in, say  ten year old water from a water bed. Or maybe you have to do it every month. Just picture the water bill. Anyway . . .

Must look up 'how to stop procrastinating'.


                                                      How to kiss and empty a waterbed


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