Friday 26 June 2015

How to

I just had to write this down.
Through the WWWeb we can access anything, well not guided-missile routes or The Queen's supper menu for next Wednesday, but most other useless/useful information we care to ask of Monsieur Google.
Our aged 'fosse septique' - personal sewage pit - what the hell is it called - I'll just look it up . . . (opens new window) - septic tank, is proving a tad tricky, or the loo/pipes, whatever . . . so I consulted The Net: How to. Before I could get to 'blocked' I was offered:

How to: Tie a tie
              Boil eggs
              Lose weight
              Make money

Odd that tie-tying comes before losing weight or making money. Kissing seems fairly straight forward, or maybe it isn't at the beginning - I can't remember that far back. Boiling eggs? Is it not sad that this should be the third most asked about topic according to predictive phrase guessing? I suppose most people don't require information on how to roast swan or stuff grasshoppers, eggs being more popular.

Then I added the word empty (septic tank) and got:

A pool
A Catheter bag
A pond
A Septic tank (ah-ha)
A water bed - what a disgusting thought.

Someone once came round and insisted on doing a hoover demo for us despite the fact I said I would never in a billion years buy their ridiculous system that cost about 3,000 euros, anyway, she hoovered our mattress - just a small area then deposited the contents into a small square white piece of cloth. It was unspeakably horrible. Grey, greasy dust - lots of it - skin and stuff . . . Just imagine what would appear in, say, ten-year old fluid from a water bed. Or maybe you have to do it every month. Just picture the water bill. Anyway . . .

Must look up 'how to stop procrastinating'.

                                                      How to kiss and empty a waterbed

No comments:

Post a Comment