Wednesday 16 October 2013


A friend was returning to France recently and I went to collect her from Carcassonne airport.
I asked her how the trip went, and had she experienced the vile recorded trumpet heralding of Ryanair - yet another flight on time. Yes, she had said, wryly. Anything else interesting about the trip? Rowing couples, drunken VIP's, sick bag-madness?
No, but a priceless piece of improv from the cabin staff person issued with trolling out the same old blurb: please do not inflate your life-jacket as to do so may impede your exit . . . etc. But when she got to the bit about it not being a terribly good idea to strike a match, of flick your lighter as you could set fire to the plane and die, and/or, you would most certainly be severely dealt with, she forgot her lines: "Please do not smoke as . . . it is very bad for you."

Image from Express news.

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