Sunday 25 June 2023

Following on from last post of total incredulity re the state of our world

Come   on. Really


Who on earth thought these loo paper names up? . . . I sat in many tedious and surreal advertising/marketing meetings in my youth when I was a London stylist (cabbie/finder of ludicrous stuff at ultra short notice) but I don't think anyone would ever really of thought suggesting that 'Instant Zen' would be a great name for something to wipe your backside on.

Having suddenly realised that our rental lodgings was out of loo paper I had to scoot to the nearest shop to grab a packet. I hunted for something made of recycled paper, preferably encased in other recycled paper rather than plastic but there was nothing in the whole aisle (longer than an average truck) that was actually made of real, recycled paper - a nod to a small percentage; a packet claiming that its wrapping was made (mostly) of recycled plastic but nothing about the actual paper itself - lilac/mint/aqua/rose coloured; quilted, kitten-soft (ugh) better than porcupine-soft, I suppose, and scented . . . like these two varieties pictured here. What does Instant Zen smell like? Better than Delayed Zen? I've never actually thought what Zen would smell like. Sort of pale, scentless, calm, a few leaves gathered from the garden might be more appropriate.

Perfume of summer sun. Traffic jams, overflowing bins, wasps, sweat, withered flowers trying to cope with the heat . . . Spring might have been a better choice.

I will make sure I get to the organic shop next time where you can buy fair priced, loose, off-white loo rolls with no packaging - and no quilting, kittens, designs, colours or smells.

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