The Cathedral of Tescos. These buildings must cover about forty percent of UK soil now.
'Helping you spend less' . . . I don't think so. I went in to buy a new digibox for mum's T.V and came out with: the afore-mentioned box, stationary, tea, a Mexican spice pack, a film, socks, crisps, baked beans, rice pudding, and a bag of past-their-sell-buy-date limes. "Helping you spend far more than you anticipated.' Thanks.
I know I didn't have to buy these things, but that's how supermarkets work. You are suddenly in an over-lit planet of consumption; all around people are wheeling trollies stacked higher than a serve- yourself salad bowl in Pizza hut. Oooh, those look nice, I suppose it might be good to buy some more of that, supposing there was a war before Monday.
I remember the first supermarket in Muswell Hill. Sainsburys. I went there with Mum when it was first open in 1833 or sometime. She said I could choose a yogurt. It was a difficult choice between Eden Vale strawberry, Eden Vale banana, or Eden vale toffee. I went for the latter every time. How lovely it was with its little layer of toffee flavour something on the top.
That was it. REALLY. Now Sainsburys has a yogurt isle as big as Shropshire in each store, with more choices than raisins in a Garibaldi — actually, several packets of them. It's not right. It has to change. I want Eden Vale back; I want to limit the shopping time to ten minutes rather than thirty-five minutes of fondling exotic packaging, and being torn between 'Sainsbury's irreproachable' and 'well, if that's really all you can afford' ranges.
I liked the Greek shop in Muswell hill when I was a kid. That's my idea of a shop. All dark, teetering piles of interesting tins and boxes. Have you got a pack of shoe laces? Yes he would mutter, and disappear for a few minutes, returning with a dust covered pair of Rasta rainbow ones. Fab.
The most exciting time in there, was when they opened a box of bananas and found a black widow spider, not even consistent to EU sizes. Ah, those were the days.
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