I wish to complain in the strongest terms . . .

A few super complaints from Thomas Cook holidays, sent to me by friend Penny.
These are really true, apparently.

 "I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local
store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."

 "We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white."

"No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled."

"It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England it only took the Americans three hours to get home."

 "The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the accommodation'. We're trainee hairdressers - will we be OK staying there?"

"We had to queue outside with no air conditioning."

"My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. 
We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."